Friday, November 08, 2013

The Good Wife

While you might think that I have forgotten about my blog, it's definitely not the case.

I've been so preoccupied with things that are unimportant, yet urgent, like work, so the blog has had to take a back seat.

Family is still joyfully first, but I've gotta say, I'm so darned grateful to have such awesome, outgoing friends, and such a great life outside of home. Not everyone is blessed with such a great social life in their early thirties, married and with child.  And I've been trying to enjoy every minute of it while I can, and cherish so many moments of unforgettable fun.

Yes, I know I sound like the typical "Whatever I didn't do in my twenties, I wanna do in my thirties!" cliché. But I assure you, my few faithful blog readers, that this is further from the truth than a beggar at a penthouse. It's not that I've decided to put aside my values, and party like a rockstar without thinking of tomorrow. It's not that I have a husband that doesn't care about my decisions. But, nevertheless... I have one amazing relationship. I could sit here and write up an encyclopedia about how great it is, but I'll get to the raw, unfiltered, unapologetic and uncensored point: we have somehow met the point between respecting each other and having an openmind.

I won't bore you with intricate details, just know that you're the lucky recipients of my pseudo-secret. And I'm only posting it because I know your opinions will be valued, and that I'm still calling it a secret because even after I speak to my select group of friends, there's very little agreement, very little grasp of my ideas. So the real value of it doesn't really get shared or experimented.

To make it as simple as possible, my husband has a green light. He can do whatever he pleases with his body, as long as it doesn't affect his ability to take care of me or our daughter. This pertains primarily to that issue that people take so seriously, and that if they didn't, would probably avoid a good chunk of divorces happening every year: cheating.

Yup, you heard it here, first. Mr. Death can cheat. I know I'm defying the laws of physics (especially Hispanic physics!) by thinking this way, but what can I say? You live according to what you learn, feel and see. I've seen so many great marriages end over such an egotistical flaw. Over ego. Over one or two (or twenty) nights of superficial pleasure...

This little agreement, however, and of course, comes accompanied by a set of three rules. Rules that would probably be tweaked if he were suicidal enough to go through with this, haha, but that are there nevertheless:

1) I can definitely, absolutely NEVER find out. Whether it's a one-night stand, or a full-blown affair, I can't know about it. From him, or anyone else. It should forever haunt his conscience, and his alone.

2) He needs to protect himself. Yes, I know a condom comes to mind, but that's not all I'm referring to. I also can't mentally afford an infatuated bitch trying to come up to me and ruin my marriage. He must have the understanding with her that this is what it is, something he needs to get out of his system, that she will never be first, that she is a hole-filler (getting her hole filled... ha!).

3) If I do find out, and this happens to be more of an emotional and mental ordeal, than it is physical, he needs to explore it without me in the picture. If he falls in love, it can only mean he's fallen out of love with me. And life's too short to live with someone you can't make happy. We will figure out a civilized way to exit each other's lives.

I know this all sounds too good to be true, that this is too perfect an agreement to actually work. But keep two things in mind that make this more hypothetical than actual: a) I've never known of him cheating, so I'm on cloud seventeen at the moment and b) I, on the contrary, don't have this magical green light ;-) So I have to be careful not to place myself in situations I can lose control of. Has it still been super close to happening? Have I been ridiculously close to situations where I could be unfaithful if I wasn't so, well, faithful? Yeah... But that, my chums, is another story.

Until then, have yourselves blissful nights. I have to go fulfill my good wife duties now ;-)

Yani DLC


YannyRamz .- said...

Ahhh, Yani volvio con un post explosivo! Totally didn't expect this, but thank you for expressing your mind. Como nos cambian las experiencias, o "el mundo" de como percibimos, y aceptamos las cosas que nos llegan. Realmente estas en un grupo muy selecto con esas ideas, pero eres tu, right? Es muy probable que tengas mucha razon en esa forma de llevar el matrimonio, que sin duda nos ahorraria tantos divorcios, y dolores de cabeza.

2x4 said...

u are the shit!
cuddos to you!
much love